Hawaiian Days

Hawaiian Days

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Journal Entery

Date: October 16, 2007

Entery Number: 3

Page/Quote reflecting on: Pg. 16

I have been in situations similar to Esther's when she went with Doreen to Lenny Shepherd's apartment. Lenny and Doreen were completely involved in each other and totally ignored Esther. "I felt myself shrinking to a small black dot against all those red and white rugs and that pine paneling. I felt like a hole in the ground." That's how I have felt with friends and family too. The conditions were not the same but having people totally ignore you is a very boring feeling. You feel lonely, left out, forgotten, and neglected. It doesn't happen to me so much anymore. It is interesting how angry is a secondary emotion though. At first I would feel bored, then lonely, left out, ect., and then I would get mad. I would get so mad I would start to hate those people and decide to ditch them since they wouldn't even notice if I was gone or not anyway. I really hate it when people do that so now I try to include everyone in the things that I do because I have been that outsider looking in, feeling worthless and alone.

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