College Life

I hate it when you don't even have enough money to buy food because you need to pay rent and the rest of tuition which both exceed the amount you earn in a month :(

Tangy: Bitter Sweet

I love my Paden so much. I just wish i could have him here. I wish I could be safe in his arms and not have to worry about anything. I miss him so much. Im just glad its May already and I'll be sing him in a month. I cant wait. I just wish that I could see him and be with him now. Hear the sound of his voice, see the light in his beautiful green eyes, see his cute smile, hear the sound of his laughter, feel the strength in his arms as he hugs me close... Can't wait till June and then August when we'll get married. Im so excited to be marrying him. He's amazing and super cute in every way possible.

Reminiscing

Sometimes I miss how things used to be. I miss my Paden and having him here with me, I miss when we just had time to hang out, I miss the friends I used to have, I miss cookie parties at the compound with Cami and everyone. I miss my coworkers like Amber and Sam and Mari and everyone else thats gone, I miss my wonderful cousin/recent roomie Nicole, and so many more. But Im glad I got to meet so many amazing people that have all impacted my life greatly. Im grateful for the opportunity to be here in Hawaii and meet so many people from around the world. Life never stops changing. I guess that means the my friends will never stop changing either. I think God brings the people we need into our lives at specific times to teach us something, even if it is something small, and then has them move on to teach and touch someone else life. It pretty amazing but sometimes I wish it would just stop. But it all makes me even more grateful for my amazing fiance who wont leave or move on. He's gunna be with me for eternity :)

All You Need is Love

I love my fiance. He's amazing. I'm so grateful that I have him. Sometimes we do have rough patches and awkward moods but he really is the love of my life :)

Frustrating

Its annoying when people try and tell you what you do everyday when they dont even know! Really its a pet peeve of mine. People trying to tell others what they do & dont do when they have no clue. Its annoying when roomates say, "All you do is spend time with your fiance & go to school" I wish that was the case but unfortunately I dont get to spend ANY of my time with my fiance!!!! All I do all day is go to school, go to work, & then do homework. The most time I get to spend with my fiance is like 20minutes between class & then when he walks me home after work or school. Thats it! It makes me so mad when people try and tell me otherwise. Im not even home at all!! How are they going to tell me what I do when Im not at home?! Frustrating! Then I have another roomie, who although is super nice, is dirty minded & (the biggy) She eats everyone else's food & uses everyone elses stuff! Sometimes she doesnt even ask. She has her own bathroom but she uses mine & Nicoles all the time. Then she took my hydrogen peroxide without asking and never returned it! I went into her bathroom today & found my bottle & another one! Then whenever my fiance comes over, shes always dressed inappropriately and it makes me uncomfortable & it makes him uncomfortable. Its just bad timing & an accident but it always happens. I dont even want him over at my house anymore because of her & my other roomates who dont know how to dress themselves. Cant wait till im married and dont have to deal with any other roomates but the love of my life!

Downside

The only downside is, I work till 9:30!!!! and the Ball gets over at 11:30 :( So ima bring all my stuff to work & then try & get off a little early so i can get ready in the bathroom :) Hopefully itll only take like 15 minutes. I already have my hair almost done. After work ill just apply a little makeup, throw on my dress & accessories, fix my hair & wallah!! :D hopefully it works! lol

First Term Ball!!!

Im sooo excited for the Ball tonight!!!! Im so happy that Sam asked me :) Hes soo adorable!!! Hes a real sweetheart and really cute :) Hes a good guy :) which makes me happy! No one...let me rephrase, no guy has ever asked me to like anything! When ever i went on dates, I initiated it or asked the guy & once my friend told her brother that i wanted him to ask me to LDS Prom & he still wouldnt! He didnt believe her! So i had to ask him & then he said yes. Ive had guys ask, do you wanna go eat at kahuku grill or wanna watch a movie with me but they were all approached kinda like hanging out almost. This is like the first time a guy has straight out asked "Do you want to go to the Ball with me?" It makes me happy! :D

:/

I miss my Joe! :( I got a message from him the other day asking if i was still in hawaii. I told him i was; asked him why?; asked if he was planning a party lol . He said no hes just been thinking of me & how he hasnt seen me all summer ):) idk whether to be happy that he was thinking of me or sad because i havent seen him in forever & miss everyone back home including him. He was my #1 in High School. One of my best buddies. Im impressed by how well he put up with me lol hes awesome! i miss him :(

Friends

Thank goodness for great friends like Jacob who can save me from my boredom. Both today and tomorrow! I getta go with him to Kaneohe to get his car checked out, DMV, & see about getting some 5 fingers for him. Should be fun. At least i wont be stuck at home doing nothing.

BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh im soooo BORED!!!!! Theres like absolutely nothing to do! Why did i not check to see if i got any Pell grants or loan offers before i decided not to take classes??!!! THere is nothing to do here!!!! I need a job but ive never written up a real resume & i need help with it. I think what i have is good enough for school but then what do i do with it? I know i need to upload it to YCareers but Do i need to take it somewhere else to get it checked to make sure i actually did it right? Or does it really matter since its just a school resume for an on campus job? SO annoying! And then i was suppose to get a job off campus as a nanny/house keeper/personal assistant but the lady who said wed keep in contact didnt tell me if she got the job that would require extra help around the house (me) and she didnt pick up when i called her and didnt return my call or my text. IDK WHAT TO DO! Just find another job(s) on campus & forget about her offer or wait around until she either calls me or returns my call? Honestly i dont think i can handle another week BY MYSELF!!! Im soooo BORED!!!! And the weather hasnt been very nice either. Its been raining which doesnt make for very good beach days :/ Summer vacation was never this bad and its only been like a week!!! I dont even have my sisters to talke to! And i tried calling Kris today, she didnt pick up. Tried calling Rachel, she didnt pick up. Tried calling home and they didnt pick up!!!! What is this nonsense?! Goodness!!!

NO FB!!!

so this week me and my roomie Caroline are going without facebook! In a way its a really good thing but the thing is, i think i will still get around it. I mean it wont phase me at all really cuz i still have youtube and i have this. so really i dont think it will do as much good as it should. But i guess it still is good. At least this is almost like a journal entry right? :) so at least its sorta productive.

This whole thing came about because of Elder Olsen's talk that he gave at our fireside last night. It was all about how technologically plugged in we and how we dont ever take the time to just sit in silence. I actually do do that sometimes. I love to go on walks and just think. Its sorta like my quiet time :) but anyway so we are not going on fb this week and we are even going to try a day of no cell phones or at least no texting. We were initially just going to turn them off for a day but then we figured, What if there was an emergency of some sort or another. That wouldnt be good. But im not sure if we will do the no phones thing. We will see.

Back to square one! So much for that plan! And we were doing soo good too! Stupid boy... I hope he will finally get his head & his heart lined up and make them agree cuz this going back & forth stuff gets really confusing and emotionally tiring.

school activity & stupid boys

So i went to this "speed dating thing" with my friends Jacob and Aaron. It was pretty cool. The most interesting people i met were 2 guys from asia and 2 guys from New Zealand. After ward we had banana splits which were awesome! Ive been craving ice cream for like ever but i didnt wanna buy any cuz its to expensive and i dont have money. So it was definitely a blessing :D Then i met this guy Joseph and he was really cool. Super sweet and very spiritual. Physically less appealing but so nice. He was really genuine as well. So i was feeling good after ward, happy and then Jacob and Aaron had to kill it for me. I was already tired but Jacob asked if id like to watch an episode of a show with him so i agreed but i went home to change first. I came back and they were gone. Tempted to just go home i txt Jacob asking where he was at. He was at the front Bus stop house and invited me over. We sat talking to Andrea for like 45mins. I was not in the best mood. Then finally we left and went back to Jakes and Aarons. They have this little coffee table at their place and it was pushed against the couch so i started moving it and just as i got it moved Aaron jumps on the couch and stretches across it. So i sit on the other couch. Jacob gets his laptop and moves the coffee table over to where we're sitting and looks online for a tv show of some sort. I was expecting Supernatural or Big Bang Theory like usual but no. The first thing he pulls up is Family Guy. I ABHOR that show!!! Its stupid and dirty and i hate it! I hate all the sexual innuendos & jokes, the cussing, and the lack of morals. Thats whats wrong with America! I didnt say this though. I just asked Family Guy?! and he caught on and asked what you dont like Family Guy. I told him no! but he just said well we will watch some of it and then if it gets kinda bad then well watch something else. Funny thing, we werent even watching it for 2minutes before he decided to change it because it was horrible although he was laughing. Then Aaron comes up with the idea to watch this movie Grown Ups or something like that with Adam Sandler. Inmy head i was thinking Great a movie and Adam Sandler. He can be funny but a lot of his movies are gross and perverted. The plot line of the movie wasnt bad but they threw in so much crap that was not needed. And of course the boys had to laugh at almost all the perverted parts. I didnt realize before then how base both of them were. It was disappointing and it just placed me in an even worse bad mood. And the marriages and the family life of all of them was just horrible! Those werent even marriages! How could you call such belittling and everything else a marriage?! And the little perverted boys! It just made me really mad and sad and upset. I was ready to go home. Unfortunately Maddie came over and a conversation started up. Maddie's great. Shes really sweet but at 12:30am! Luckily there was a break in the conversation at which time i excused myself and went home. Just the contrast between how sweet and pure and spiritual Joseph was to how carnal and base Jacob and Aaron were was shocking! It was so horrible! Its definitely given me a lot to think about. I mean i came to a church school to get away from all that crap! I was sick of hearing all the swearing, all the sexual connotations, jokes and everything else, and all the base and disrespectful stuff that i had to go to high school with and knew that would exist if i went to a regular college. Here it really isnt bad at all. Actually its fantastic but i hate that even some of my friends now act that same way. Its really disappointing. Its no wonder Jacob is 26 and single and Aaron like 25. Theyre both still super immature!

funny how each day is a golden day in hawaii :D

TIme

So its funny how long ago all that was. Time really does fly by! Im not in high school anymore lol College is sooo much better than HS. I love the fact that ppl here arent as immatures, dont cuss, and actually want to learn. I love that my campus isnt to big so my classes arent too big. I love how close the beach is and my awesome friends who go to activities with me :)

SNF-Saturday Night Fun

The Original Five